Actually, to call Deston Therapeutics Big Pharma would be insulting to the likes of Merck. It would be kinda stretching it to even call Deston Therapeutics Medium Pharma, but they have plans to change that. Big plans. If all goes well, loads of cash will soon be rolling in Deston Therapeutics' front door from sales of their new blockbuster product, Auralgan.
"Have you been taking the LSD again Drugmonkey?" I can hear you saying, "Auralgan has been around since Moses. No one's gonna make money off an old med that gets substituted nearly 100% of the time now. "
You'd be partly right. Auralgan has been around forever. For those of you not in the profession I'll tell you Auralgan is a pain relieving ear drop. The generic equivalents of Auralgan captured so much of the market that Wyeth, a real big pharma company, gave up making the brand name a few years ago. Most people didn't notice. Like I said, every prescription for Auralgan was getting filled with the generic anyway.
Most doctors are in the habit of writing the brand name on your prescription pad though. It's easier to write "Auralgan" than it is "antipyrine and benzocaine" That is the key to Deston Therapeutics plan to hit the big time.
Deston Therapeutics bought the name "Auralgan" from Wyeth, changed the formula, and started selling the new formula under the old name. That means if you fill a prescription written today for "Auralgan" the way you've filled one for the last zillion years, you've filled it wrong. There is no generic for the new Auralgan.
I interviewed Deston Therapeutics president and CEO David M. Preston in my imagination to get his take on the story:
Me: "So.......what the hell?"
Preston: "It's like this Drugmonkey, we at Doston Therapeutics don't have the integrity or work ethic to come out with a product we could sell based on the merits of its effectiveness, so we figured a disingenuous move such as this could lay a good foundation, both financially and ethically, towards the day when we are the type of company who can make their money withholding the results of scientific data, the way Merck and Schering do."
Me: "You do realize that 99.9% of doctors writing a prescription for Auralgan are intending to prescribe only a pain reliever, and not a pain reliever combined with mild anti-bacterial and anti fungal agents."
Preston: "You think we care?"
Me: "I see. I notice you've chosen acetic acid as your anti-bacterial ingredient. Do you know the common name for acetic acid?"
Preston: "I cannot comment on trade secrets"
Me: "Acetic acid is vinegar and you know it douchebag. Can I use Auralgan to sprinkle across my fish and chips?"
Preston: "As long as you pay us."
Me: "Is that a toupée you're wearing?"
Preston: "Get out of my office"
