Just take the Goddamn car you little shit. It's only a matter of time before you get yourself into a mess your old man won't be able to get your sorry ass out of. We might as well get it over with. Just take the goddamn car.
Do you really think I don't know what you're up to with that little ho of yours? Or that weed is odorless? Just because I'm too fucking tired to see straight after getting my head pounded in for 12 hours at the store doesn't mean I'm blind. Here's a tip; lambskin condoms don't stop AIDS. Not that I have any illusions you'll start listening to me now.
You know what I'm gonna do tonight while you're busy finding a way to wrap the car around a tree? I'm gonna catch up on all the sleep I lost walking you around in circles when you were crying with the colic. I'm gonna doze off in between sheets that aren't the least bit stained with spit up. Spit up is the most disgusting substance known to humankind, and I have seen the last of it. I'll probably be so goddamn nice and cozy I'll sleep right through the call from the sheriff's department asking me to bail you out of the pen. Think of your night in jail as the karma go round for you registering as a Republican to try and get under my skin. Christ, I wish I would have turned around and shot you on the wall. Totally, totally, wish I had never had you.
Wait. I didn't have you. I forgot there for a second. I feel better now.
