Meet your new mutha-fuckin' You-nited States Senator!!!!!!!!!!
ST. PAUL, Minn. – A Minnesota board on Monday certified results showing Democrat Al Franken winning the state's U.S. Senate recount over Republican Norm Coleman.
My friends, if I were famous, I would cite Al Franken as one of my biggest influences. Not only for his biting, witty thoughtful humor, which would be enough quite honestly, but for his massive wonky brainpower. He combined the two on the flagship show on the Air America network for a few years before deciding to make his Senate run. If you never caught the show when it was on the air, you should punch yourself in the face right now.
But I'm not famous, so I guess that just makes me some sort of Al Franken groupie.
A groupie who is quite proud to have delivered this election to the object of my affection. That's right my friends. I know from my site meter that I get a disproportionate number of hits from the Twin Cities. And considering Franken won the election by 225 votes. I don't think it an exaggeration to say that my work uncovering the fact that Franken's opponent, Norm Coleman, never denied being a member of Al-Queda and chose to pal around with members of an organization known to have enabled child molesters was the deciding factor in this election. People of Minnesota, I proudly accept the humble thank yous you are to sure to send my way.
Coleman's not done yet though. In a dramatic flip-flop from his thinking on election night, when preliminary results showed him with a slim lead and he said if he were in Franken's position he would "step back," Coleman has now adopted an anti-step back platform. He has plans to sue to the bitter end. But as the wonkiest of wonky political number crunchers Nate Silver over at fivethirtyeight.com explains, he has about as much chance of prevailing as we do of ever hearing GlaxoSmithKline admit Paxil CR is just a load of crap formulated to pad their bottom line.
That sound you hear is the fat lady singing in full force my friends, and it's the best thing I've heard since Franken's show went off the air. Tonight's scotch is celebratory.
