I Owe The Pharmacists For Life International A Big Apology.

I'm sorry Pharmacists For Life International. I thought you just hated women. When you cranked up your public relations machine a few years ago to draw attention to the cause of  "pharmacist conscience," putting Karen Brauer in front of the nation's TV cameras and Lloyd Duplantis behind the microphone of National Public Radio, I thought your objective was to put a stop to or at least a dent in the number of abortions that take place in this country. I was mistaken, and again I apologize.

Fortunately the legislature of the state of Idaho didn't listen to the likes of me when they passed a health care worker conscience law of the type you fought so hard for. It didn't take long for a pharmacist to take advantage of that law, less than a year actually.

On Nov. 6 a Walgreens pharmacist refused to fill a prescription ordered by one of Planned Parenthood's Boise-based nurse practitioners. The prescription was for a Planned Parenthood patient for Methergine, a medicine used to prevent or control bleeding of the uterus following childbirth or an abortion.

This is awesome. I can see now that this is one step closer to what is now our common goal. I'm so sorry I was so wrong, that I couldn't see that you were simply using the dim-witted twits in the anti-abortion movement as pawns in your brilliant chess match. That prescription for Methergine, you see, doesn't do a damn thing to stop an abortion whether its filled or not. Hell, probably at least half the time you see one it doesn't have anything to do with an abortion at all, stopping bleeding the way it does after a natural miscarriage or regular childbirth with complications. And when it is abortion related? By the time you see the prescription it's too late if you're interested in stopping one, because the abortion has already happened. So what the pharmacist was doing by refusing to fill that Methergine prescription then, was assuming the power of cop, judge, jury and executioner against someone who they thought might have done something they didn't like. Literally, executioner. That Walgreen's pharmacy customer could have bled to death.

Sweet. Because a lot of my customers do things that I don't like, and I cannot wait to use my new God-like powers just as soon as the Idaho Board of Pharmacy rules against Planned Parenthood in its complaint against that Walgreen's pharmacist. I'm hoping Pharmacists For Life International can now maybe team up with The National Rifle Association so we can just start shooting people dead at the pharmacy counter. I'll go after the Type-2 diabetics first, then probably the fibromyalgics. I'll probably off a smoker or two as well just for shits and giggles.

And I'll have The Pharmacists For Life International to thank. For making pharmacy the single most powerful profession on the planet. I can't believe I was so foolish not to have seen their plan.

Definitely beats the shit out of anything APhA's ever done for us.

Thanks to the alert reader who tipped me to the story.